August 11, 2011

This is hilarious. Mu-Ming Poo, who out-K3rn3d StKern before he even thought of his vomitous screed, is back in the news. Here are some highlights from Poo’s infamous letter to his laboratory

Every one works at least 50 hr a week in the lab (e.g., 8+ hr a day, six days a week). This is by far lower than what I am doing every day and throughout most of my career. You may be smarter or do not want to be as successful, but I am not asking you to match my time in the lab…I mean real bench work. This does not include surfing on the computer and sending and receiving e-mails for non-scientific matters unrelated to your work (you can do this after work in the lab or at home), and excessive chatting on nonscientific matters. No long lunch break except special occasions. I suggest that everyone puts in at least 6 hr concentrated bench work and 2+ hr reading and other research-related activity each day. Reading papers and books should be done mostly after work…But if you do not like to follow the rules because it is simply a matter of choice of life style, I respect your choice but suggest you start making plans immediately and leave the lab by the end of January 31. I will do my best to help you to locate a lab to transfer or to find a job.

Apparently he did not cover the allowable number of potty breaks. Probably an oversight.

Anyhow, disappointed, no doubt with the less-than-enslaved work ethic of the indentured servants available to him from his perch at UC Berkeley, Poo secured a part time appointment in Shanghai. Alas, his dream was short lived. Those ungrateful rat bastard Chinese scientists had the gall to get uppity!

Poo is still sceptical about the future of Chinese science. He worries that misconduct is still tolerated and that the country’s work ethic is being eroded, with students demanding comfortable living arrangements, better food and vacations.

BETTER FOOD????? VACATION??? But children are dying of CANCER!!!! Ooops, I mean “those damn axonal growth cones are not going to direct themselves!!!

…and he might just be applying this to appointed scientists, not just trainees. I guess that is progress?

The ION has also lost senior staff to the National Institute of Biological Sciences in Beijing, and other universities. Poo blames the departures on better salaries elsewhere, although a critic — who does not want to be named — points to his ‘overly controlling’ managerial style.

C’mon, I’m sure he’s not asking them to work any harder than he does himself…

No Responses Yet to “Poo3d!!!!”

  1. HAHAHAHAHAH! Don’t fucken harshout on the poomeister! He kickes fucken asse!!!!!!


  2. drugmonkey Says:

    Anyone dumb enough to write that letter to his lab deserves a little joshing, PP.


  3. Juniper Shoemaker Says:

    You mean he just shouldn’t have put it in writing, DM? LOL.


  4. drugmonkey Says:

    Lead from the front, knowhatimsayin, Juniper? If you look back and nobody is following you, well….just be glad you didn’t get fragged.


  5. brooksphd Says:

    He’s giving one of the big lectures at SfN this year isn’t he?


  6. drugmonkey Says:

    I wonder how many more postdocs he could pay for the price of flying to shanghai one week per month? Also, how much the jetlag cuts his productivity?


  7. pinus Says:

    I wonder if he flies 1st class?


  8. becca Says:

    “I wonder how many more postdocs he could pay for the price of flying to shanghai one week per month? Also, how much the jetlag cuts his productivity?”
    Well, it costs $894 to fly Air Canada roundtrip Shanghai to San Fran (so cheap tickets.com is telling me). So that’s like what, monthly salary for like 37 Chinese postdocs, right?
    Also, Poo works on the plane, and sleep is for weakling loosers who don’t really want to be scientists.


  9. TreeFish Says:

    Hey, no one said science in the Poo(h) lab is a carebears’ motherfuckin’ tea partehe. What a wenker for writing a letter, though…


  10. Neuropop Says:

    But I thought this was old news. There was talk of this letter floating around when I started my postdoc a decade or so ago. Still can’t deny that he gets stuff done and he’s been more right than wrong.


  11. drugmonkey Says:

    Letter is old, Nature interview is new


  12. Namnezia Says:

    Thing is, in it’s heyday the Poo lab had about 20 or so postdocs, or so I’m told. Every year they would have maybe 2-3 CNS papers plus a couple of other high-profile ones. Nevertheless, if you look at the senior authors there’s a handful of superstars who got these papers. The rest seem to be spending their careers, breaking their butts in this high powered lab but at most getting a middle authorship in various papers. No wonder they feel unmotivated and spend their days surfing the internet and taking long lunch breaks.


  13. Yes, it is noteworthy that given the number of high-profile publications out of Poo’s labbe, the number of independent scientists it has spawned is extremely low. This can be contrasted, for example, with Richard Axel or Eve Marder.


  14. drugmonkey Says:

    “noteworthy” or “entirely predictable”…?


  15. anonynus Says:

    That Poo fucker just piles up chinese post-docs like logs on a fucking bonfire.


  16. […] not been a good year for trainees aspiring to academic careers. They've been Pooed (gross!), St. Kerned, St. Noonaned, and now St. Quiñones-Hinojosaed (St. QHed?). […]


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