With grant success rates dipping ever below 10% in the NIH and somewhere south of gawdawful in NSF programs people are understandably nervous.


BikeMonkey Guest Post
We all know about the struggles young and even not-so-young women professors go through to gain the respect of their students and peers. A youthful appearance can in some cases be a bit of a handicap. Men are not immune as has been described by Prof-like Substance.

I was asked to give a 5 minute dog and pony show research explanation to a political candidate for some district somethingorother. She brought along a contingent of people, including two interns who appeared to think their job of making sure the schedule was adhered to was a life or death posting, and toured the lab. I talked about what we do, including how our science is both good for the state from a job and application perspective. She took this all in as I described the cool equipment we use and how state infrastructure is blah blah blah. A few questions were asked, suggesting the candidate had at least listened. And then… “So, are you a student here?”

Well, some of Prof-like’s peers have been adopting a little protective camouflage to fit in.

Young assistant professors in Ivy League towns have stormed the salons with an interesting request: to add a little gray to their perfectly-colored heads of hair.
P. Nus-Whimple of the Crimson Locks, a men’s salon and spa in Cambridge, MA explained that grayness adds gravitas.
“We’ve had that request quite a bit,” Nus-Whimple said. “Assistant professors are under tenure stress and need be taken more seriously in their field. At a conference they look around the audience at all the gray manes and wonder how they are being perceived. Twenty years ago, only 2 percent of our business was hair colour, now it’s 22-23 per cent. And of the colouring we do, 80 percent is gray blending.”

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There’s really nothing else to say but “Discuss” for this comment.

I think people with a stay at home spouse should have an asterisk next to their name on their CVs and tenure documents, like baseball players who’ve taken steroids.

(You might want to also register a vote in Female Science Professor’s stay-at-home-spouse poll.)

There’s really nothing else to say but “Discuss” for this comment.

I think people with a stay at home spouse should have an asterisk next to their name on their CVs and tenure documents, like baseball players who’ve taken steroids.

(You might want to also register a vote in Female Science Professor’s stay-at-home-spouse poll.)

Twittnanigans

April 15, 2010

This is cracking me up today:

    display_tweme_list(tweme_data, “tweet-list”, false);

    Thanks to a commenter for the link to this highly important public service message on drugs of abuse.

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    Mendel's Pink Sheets

    February 22, 2010

    One of our readers managed to unearth an unbelievable bit of scientific history and we are able to provide it to you thanks to his generosity. With no further delay we present….

    MendelsPinkSheetHeader.jpg
    click image

    __
    All credit, and my gratitude for the LOLz goes to Donn Young who describes the source of his re-creation as follows:

    Long ago and far away [like the 1970’s], I read an article in the old Journal of Irreproducible Results [JIR] that had a copy of Gregor Mendel’s pink sheets. I have no idea who the author(s) was and I can no longer find the issue [or much else], but have this rewrite I put together using the 90’s review criteria. I’d hand it out [on pink paper] to junior faculty as encouragement in the face of an unscored application – but hey, Mendel didn’t have to worry about tenure.
    Donn Young
    Research Scientist and Director of Biostatistics [retired]
    Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center

    Repost: Study Section, Act II

    February 10, 2010

    This post went up Oct 8, 2008.


    Time: One to six weeks prior to February, June or October, two rounds after Act I.
    Setting: Assorted messy professorial offices, planes, hotels

      Dramatis Personæ:

    • Assistant Professor Yun Gun (ad hoc)
    • Associate Professor Rap I.D. Squirrel (standing member)
    • Professor H. Ed Badger (standing member, second term)
    • Dr. Cat Herder (Scientific Review Officer)
    • Badger’s Highly Accomplished Administrative Assistant, Eunice

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    Repost: Study Section, Act I

    February 10, 2010

    The recent discussions touching on NIH grant review and study sections reminded me of an older post. This originally appeared Jun 11, 2008.


    Time: February, June or October
    Setting: The Washington Triangle National Hotel, Washington DC

      Dramatis Personæ:

    • Assistant Professor Yun Gun (ad hoc)
    • Associate Professor Rap I.D. Squirrel (standing member)
    • Professor H. Ed Badger (standing member, second term)
    • Dr. Cat Herder (Scientific Review Officer)
    • The Chorus (assorted members of the Panel)
    • Lurkers (various Program Officers, off in the shadows)

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    Think of the Menz!!

    February 4, 2010

    I know we don’t give enough respect around here for the giant pile of disadvantage the menz labor under. And I regret that.
    Equal time after the jump. (NSFW…)

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    HAHAHHAHA! We love this guy….

    By the time you get your pink sheet there is nothing you can do but react, and over the years I have developed three generic pink sheet reactions:
    1. WTF? Did these stupid bozos even bother to read my proposal?
    2. Oh, shit. They found the weak spot. I wonder if I can fix it and resubmit.
    3. YES!!! (pumps fist in air) THEY BOUGHT IT!

    I admit it. Certain stupid things crack me up. Don’t click past the jump unless you are a regular reader…

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    Overheard at ScienceOnline2010. TrueStory.

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    Our good blogfriend DrJ&MrsH has prepared a manuscript for your review. It contains such observations as:

    Despite no obvious size disparity, Righty consistently delivered more product than Lefty. Across all observations (n = 50), Righty matched or outpaced Lefty (Fig. 1).

    Our data were consistent with this finding (Fig. 3), although the fucking ANOVA is only 0.07. I went ahead and ran the T-tests anyhow… Disregarding the ANOVA made me feel naughty.

    Happy Reviewing!

    There are days. Not ordinary days. But….days. Like the one you just had. In which some individual has caused you much woe. Woe and annoyance. And pain. Let us not forget that.
    Graphical artist Jessica Hische [ blog ] has just the solution.
    Bill ’em.
    Hische-day-ruining-invoice-teaser.jpg
    [h/t: Kitsune Noir by way of @chrislbs]

    How indeed?

    Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell