Hey Cat Fans, LOOK! You too can be just as stupid as a dog owner!

February 13, 2013

Apparently some epic dumbasses decided that the common housecat, bloodthirsty lethal little murder-cat killing machine that it is, wasn’t quite badass enough.

What. Is. Wrong. With. People?

11 Responses to “Hey Cat Fans, LOOK! You too can be just as stupid as a dog owner!”


  1. If it had fangs and hissed, I would gladly take it to our next faculty meeting.

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  2. Lady Day Says:

    Does it shed? Because the people who used to own our home had a cat that shed all over the place. I even had to dust cat hair off of the ceiling when we moved in. And, in spite of my best efforts at cleaning every possible nook and cranny and hanging new drapery, there appears to be an as-of-yet unidentified source of cat hair still in the house somewhere, because every now and then, I observe novel cat hair clumps drifting across the floors in formations that I can only describe as “cat hair tumbleweed.” Then, there’s the stink of litterbox left over in one closet…. How do people live with this?

    I’ll take my pit bull over a cat, any day. She doesn’t shed so much, she keeps annoying people away, and she gives the best french kisses.

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  3. Beaker Says:

    These critters became popular after it became clear that Bengal cats, the previous attempt to cross domestic and wild, carry an autosomal recessive mutation that causes most of them to go blind at around one year of age. I knew somebody who invested thousands of dollars breeding Bengals. She ended up bankrupt, with a bunch of blind and frisky hybrids living in her apartment.

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  4. physioprof Says:

    Dude, don’t be such a fucken crybaby. Dey’re cute widdle puddy tattes!

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  5. Spiny Norman Says:

    PiT, can I borrow it when you are done?

    KITTY! SNACKIES!!!

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  6. Gruffi_Gummi Says:

    My cat can eat your rottweiler.

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  7. Dave Says:

    I was kinda hoping that the music would turn dark and the cat would bite the kids face. He wouldn’t be so smug then that he has a cool kitty. Smug kiddies with cool cats are the worst evaaaaar.

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  8. D. C. Sessions Says:

    That is one honking huge Savannah. The ones we rescued are respectively less than seven pounds and about 16. The little one is terminally timid and the big one (male) is edgy but settling down.

    Unlike some wild cats (ocelots, for instance) servals have been domesticated, and have the unusual trait for cats of bonding with individual humans. Which isn’t to say that they’re necessarily safe around small children — that’s why we have the big male: his previous owner has triplet toddlers and unlike his half-brother (who is mellow) he play with kids like he plays with other cats. Not safe, so he’s now with us and no kids in sight.

    Would I breed savannahs? No. But since they’re out there, I’ll take them in. Aside from being somewhat vocal, they’re good company.

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  9. toto Says:

    Lost it at the Oatmeal cartoon. “TOO… DAMN… MUCH” indeed!

    Of course, dogs in appropriate environments will kill too. When I walk my placid, cuddle-loving Golden Retriever along the canal near our house, he will occasionally retrieve some hapless water vole (?) from its burrow – with extreme prejudice!

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  10. Jonathan Says:

    My wife has told me in no uncertain terms am I allowed to have a pet that could actually disembowel me. 😦

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  11. D. C. Sessions Says:

    By the way — a South African cow-orker informs me that the domestic cats of South Africa are promiscuously (hey, they are cats) crossing with the native servals to the same effect. Or almost same — being feral, they’re selecting for rather different traits than the domestic crosses in the USA.

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