Poo3d!!!!

This is hilarious. Mu-Ming Poo, who out-K3rn3d StKern before he even thought of his vomitous screed, is back in the news. Here are some highlights from Poo’s infamous letter to his laboratory

Every one works at least 50 hr a week in the lab (e.g., 8+ hr a day, six days a week). This is by far lower than what I am doing every day and throughout most of my career. You may be smarter or do not want to be as successful, but I am not asking you to match my time in the lab…I mean real bench work. This does not include surfing on the computer and sending and receiving e-mails for non-scientific matters unrelated to your work (you can do this after work in the lab or at home), and excessive chatting on nonscientific matters. No long lunch break except special occasions. I suggest that everyone puts in at least 6 hr concentrated bench work and 2+ hr reading and other research-related activity each day. Reading papers and books should be done mostly after work…But if you do not like to follow the rules because it is simply a matter of choice of life style, I respect your choice but suggest you start making plans immediately and leave the lab by the end of January 31. I will do my best to help you to locate a lab to transfer or to find a job.

Apparently he did not cover the allowable number of potty breaks. Probably an oversight.

Anyhow, disappointed, no doubt with the less-than-enslaved work ethic of the indentured servants available to him from his perch at UC Berkeley, Poo secured a part time appointment in Shanghai. Alas, his dream was short lived. Those ungrateful rat bastard Chinese scientists had the gall to get uppity!

Poo is still sceptical about the future of Chinese science. He worries that misconduct is still tolerated and that the country’s work ethic is being eroded, with students demanding comfortable living arrangements, better food and vacations.

BETTER FOOD????? VACATION??? But children are dying of CANCER!!!! Ooops, I mean “those damn axonal growth cones are not going to direct themselves!!!”

…and he might just be applying this to appointed scientists, not just trainees. I guess that is progress?

The ION has also lost senior staff to the National Institute of Biological Sciences in Beijing, and other universities. Poo blames the departures on better salaries elsewhere, although a critic — who does not want to be named — points to his ‘overly controlling’ managerial style.

C’mon, I’m sure he’s not asking them to work any harder than he does himself…