Grantwriter's Agony
February 18, 2010
The worst possible score to receive on your NIH grant application is:
Triage: Grrrrr, wasn’t even discussed so your fate rested on the three assigned reviewers only. No chance whatsoever of Program picking it up as a funding exception. Gaaaah, the AGONY!!!!
Above published or assumed payline, well into the grey zone: Arrrgh. I know it isn’t going to fund but…..but…..Program might pick it up! The might ask for a rebuttal! Please, oh, please an R56 Bridge? Call the PO just so I can hear the Program Zombie Mantra? AIIIIEEEEE!!!!
Pick your poison.
DrugMonkey 
February 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I just had a grant that was scored in previous rounds, but triaged in its final round (A2). The program officer was also UNassigned from this proposal days before the study section meeting. Whatsup with that? No summary statements yet, so I have no idea what happened.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 1:12 pm
I don’t even give a fuck anymore what some douchebags on study section think about my applications. I just wanna see the fucking money.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Unfortunately, we can’t get the fucking money unless the douchebags on the study section like your work.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 2:42 pm
After 3 triages I just want one fucking grant discussed.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 2:55 pm
The program officer was also UNassigned from this proposal days before the study section meeting.
IME, preliminary scores are due approximately one week before the study section meets. It could very well be that Program figured that the apps fate was sealed after the prelim scores were in. Or, they were shuffling people in Program (they change jobs, retire, etc, like anywhere else) and it just happened to be then.
Rarely, the app can be pulled by program at any time because they decide that no matter what the score, they aren’t interested in funding it. I’ve seen this happen from the review side of the table.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Sorry Lorax. You have to keep trying until you get your 14th proposal triaged. Then you can have your *F* grant discussed but no *F* money. How about that ?
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Didn’t you read the fucking post? DoucheMonkey is asking about our different feelings about different review outcomes, all of which, however, involve not getting funded. To simplify what I’m saying, since you obviously have a fucking problem with reading comprehension, is that if the fucking grant doesn’t get fucking funded, I don’t have any different feelings about different review outcomes. Capisce?
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 3:14 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH
Who’s *F*Capisce ?. That’s not in the urban dictionary.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 3:25 pm
One thing I don’t understand is why other panel members get to vote on grants they are not assigned to. Since they usually don’t read those proposals, why we need their opinions? Why not just count votes from the three reviewers.
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 4:01 pm
The three reviewers are a bunch of idiots too. Why not just throw the proposals in a bin a draw lots for cash?
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 4:04 pm
I like that system whimple :p
LikeLike
February 18, 2010 at 9:36 pm
It’d save a lot of money on airfare and admin assistance, too.
LikeLike
February 19, 2010 at 1:01 am
I’m currently in the “above published payline but close enough to potentially benefit from a PO who’s feeling kind” zone. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE fund my grant. You know you want to.
LikeLike
February 22, 2010 at 3:30 pm
If there’s no money then it’s kind of like arguing the difference between an F- and an F+.
Either way you failed to get any cash.
LikeLike