Oh yeah?

March 3, 2009

Overheard on the local playground:
Wackaballoon: “Oh yeah?”
Twerp: “Yeah!”
W: “Nuh-uh”
T: “Uh-huh! Twice!”
W: “Yeah, well yer daddy is an Assistant Adjunct Research Professor!”
T: “Yeah? Well, yo momma is an Adjunct Research Assistant Professor….in Reeesssideeence!


W: “Well yo momma only had three first-author papers as a poooost-doc!”
T: “Anyway, yer daddy is a postdoc!”
W: “…at least he doesn’t publish in Acta Scandinavica…like yo momma!”
T: “I hear yer daddy contaminates his samples”
W: “At least he didn’t have to retract a paper, like yer daddy!”
T: “Oh yeah? Well yo momma ‘forgets’ her negative controls!”
W: “Yo momma doesn’t know what a ‘control’ is!”
T: “At least she doesn’t Photoshop on the error bars like yer daddy…”
W: “Yer daddy thinks ‘p value’ is measured in milliliters!”
T: “Yo momma
BRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGG!
SchoolMarm: “Okay children, back inside!”



Ahh, kids these days….
/shakes head
/walks off

No Responses Yet to “Oh yeah?”


  1. Science dozens!! I love it!

    Like

  2. Nat Says:

    Lolz!
    But hey, my kids’ daddy is a post-doc. That a problem?
    🙂

    Like


  3. DM: you need to get out of your office for a while and breathe some fresh air!

    Like

  4. Dr A Says:

    I think I overheard the same conversation during “Social Hour” at the last conference I attended. OK every conference I’ve attended.

    Like

  5. Beaker Says:

    Yo mama’s so old she still run her own sequencing gels

    Like

  6. antipodean Says:

    Hey! Stop knocking Scandinavica…

    Like

  7. Matthew Says:

    3 first authors is bad? That seems good.

    Like

  8. Nat Says:

    Yeah, and yer daddy’s so old, he still controls his patch clamp (built in the lab) with a PDP-11!
    Take that!

    Like

  9. Courtney Says:

    ROFLMAO!!!
    Oh, and if you liked that, you may also like The Big Bang Theory on tv….

    Like


  10. Your momma’s so old she still does her PCR on a Robocycler!

    Like


  11. *Your* momma’s so old, she does her PCR using an undergrad and three water baths!

    Like


  12. Your mama’s so old she still purifies her own enzymes!

    Like

  13. Dave Says:

    Your momma’s not only old, she’s so evolutionarily ancient that RdRp is her only polymerase and it’s not even a thermotolerant strain!
    This thread makes me weep. If I honestly found any of this funny I’d shoot myself.
    How about this one? Heard this one…?
    A bacterial geneticist, patch-clamp electrophysiologist, and a pregnant nun walk into a bar…
    Uh…
    Wait. No, it’s a YEAST geneticist, patch-clamp electrophysiologist, and pregnant nun. Hold on. The nun’s not pregnant. She has a cold sore. Or was that the electrophysiologist? Shit. I can’t remember. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. They walk into a bar, and… Uh… Have you heard this one? There’s a parrot at the end, and he says… He says…
    Oh, wait…
    ?
    Fuck it.

    Like

  14. Dave Says:

    Your mama’s so old she still purifies her own enzymes!

    Am I the only one who’s ever done this? Especially before the taq patent expired? It’s CHEAP! All you need is the clone. Not that we save any money, because although I have a century’s worth of taq in the -80, everyone in the lab still insists on genotyping with expensive commercial low processivity error checking polymerases! Bugs the hell out of me.

    Like

  15. NeuroPostdoc Says:

    your mama’s so old she still uses switch clamp!!

    Like


  16. *Your* momma’s so old, she does her PCR using an undergrad and three water baths!

    Holy fuck! This is how Isis learned PCR. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

    Like


  17. Am I the only one who’s ever done this?
    our lab’s done it!
    Our purified enzyme lives in the -80 in a box labeled “taqeria”. The aliquots are called “taqitos”. Get it?
    Geez, I crack myself up sometimes. How sad.

    Like


  18. The following is a conversation that actually happened when I was at school. I was one of the participants.
    Your IQ is zero.
    Your IQ is zero point zero.
    Your IQ is zero point zero times ten to the minus infinity.
    Your IQ is minus zero point zero times ten to the minus infinity.
    Your IQ is minus zero point zero times ten to the minus infinity i.
    Yours is just i. At least mine’s a real number.

    Like


  19. Interestingly, CPP and Isis, Ken Kinzler built something between the three waterbath/undergrad unit and fancy thermocyclers. From The Scientist, 11 April 2005:
    In the late ’80s, Kinzler assembled a homemade PCR “robot” out of “three water baths, a broom handle, a solenoid from a washing machine, and a little timer,” says Vogelstein. Rubber bands attached a test tube rack to the broom handle and Kinzler programmed the contraption to dip the tubes in the baths, which were set at different temperatures.
    “It really worked,” says Baker, who used the device to verify p53 mutations in cancer cells. “We had it for months before we were able to get a real, commercially produced PCR machine in to do the experiments.”

    Like


  20. Abel – We still have a manufactured version of that in our lab…the Robocycler. It uses three different heat blocks rather than water baths but the mechanics are the same. No seriously.
    For some of our PCR protocols it produces more consistent results than the fancy new-fangled HotBonnet single block machines so we keep it around.

    Like

  21. Will TS Says:

    I like my Robocycler. But then, I’m sooo old…

    Like

  22. Monado Says:

    Hell, my obsolete skills include unjamming the card punch.

    Like


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: