Please, Just Kill Me Instead

The Center for Scientific Review at NIH just released a two-page PDF pamphlet called the “Insider’s Guide to Peer Review For Applicants”. This publication contains little squibs written by former and current study section chairs intended as advice for applicants about how to write a good R01 research grant application. (h/t WriteEdit.)
Much of the advice is trite, but unobjectionable. However one of the suggestions relates to something that is one of PhysioProf’s bêtes noires.

The Holiday Party Circuit

Although it is a good month out from the barrage of holiday parties, I’m really only able to talk about it now. I hate them. Once you get to a certain age and have lived in a place for awhile though, there’s no avoiding it. Between work parties for you and your spouse (sometime several each), parties for the Spawn (extra bonus: separate party for SpawnFriend Parents!), neighborhood… There are about 4x parties where x represents the vaguely reasonable number of party opportunities from Thanksgiving until Christmas. Here’s the thing though.
This is one of the best parts of my actual job because I get to talk with the Boss, who is also my client. You know, the US Taxpayer.